Pulling up the weeds

We are often faced with messages about trans people that are hostile, cruel and just untrue. This is largely because the societies we live in are heavily impacted by cisgenderism.

Cisgenderism is an ideology that sees the trans experience as a problem, a sickness and a sin, it denies, undervalues and pathologises the genders we know ourselves to be. Cisgenderism suggests that only cis people are allowed to know who they are, and so it underpins the rules that govern gender roles and enforces the myth that particular human behaviours and expressions are gendered (women in the kitchen, men in power), this impacts all people and is a key driver of gendered violence.

Cisgenderism is pervasive in language, law and healthcare, it enables and protects transphobia.

These messages are like invasive weeds, they’re everywhere, but with a bit of work and care, can be easy to pull up and stop from spreading. While we’re doing this, it helps to go right to the root of the messages, and show why we know it’s not true, the same way you make sure to dig up the roots of a weed so it can’t grow back.

This section is about challenging those messages and creating alternative ideas and messages, so that next time you hear them you’ll be better equipped to respond. This could be publicly, privately with a friend or just to yourself, whatever feels right for you.

Unfortunately, some of these messages can be pretty intense,  to recognise and think about, so it's okay to take your time. The way we process doesn’t have to be linear, and you can take the time you need.

When challenging negative messages head on like this, it helps to have a plan, one approach is to look for the evidence that proves that a negative message is true - hint - there rarely is any evidence.

Challenging negative messages you can bring to a group of friends or other trusted people, do it as part of a workshop or skill share, or ask your family to support you to work on together. This is also not something you need to do alone.

Remember how our community ecosystems show that we’re giving and receiving care from different people all the time – this is a great process to ask for support with, or to offer others who are doing it tough and maybe need some support.

Sometimes we come across transphobic messages out in the world without being fully prepared. When this happens, it can help to have these steps in your mind as questions to respond with, such as:

What evidence is there for this message?
Heading to the evidence base can be really useful. Chances are that by just being you, you’re already walking proof that cisgenderist and transphobic messages aren’t true but there are some great places to start looking for evidence. Check out the AusPATH Public Statement on Gender Affirming Healthcare and Rainbow Health Victoria’s Trans Health Evidence Brief.

Who is saying or promoting this message?
Is it someone you trust, or a stranger? Is it someone who you would go to for advice or support about trans things, or someone you aren’t even out to? Negative messages can hurt us no matter where they’re from, but it can help to think about if we’d take any other advice from the messenger. If the answer is no, there’s already a great reason not to listen to them about this either.

Have I encountered a message like this before?
Most of the negative messages we hear about the trans experience aren’t new. This means we can use responses and evidence that is already assembled to tackle these too. The truth is that cisgenderism and transphobia are pretty uncreative, and arguments and ideas about us aren’t even really about us at all, but about a fear of difference and a rejection of autonomy, agency and self-determination.

The more times we pull up the weeds, the better we get at knowing where the weeds are, and the less they can take over.

These tools can be incredible powerful, but they won’t always be what we need. You can look through a list of therapeutic tools here, and find a list of support services here.