Dysphoria

The word dysphoria is used in general to describe discomfort, distress, or unease. For trans people, this kind of distress may be associated with our gender, our bodies, or how those around us perceive our gender, and so is often given the name ‘gender dysphoria’.

The diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria arrived in 2013 when it was listed in the 5th edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). This was broadly considered a positive step, as it shifted the clinical focus from ‘who we are’ to something we might experience.

The implication of this though has been the assumption that all trans people have had, or currently have, dysphoria, or that defines the trans experience. This is not true.

Dysphoria occurs for all sorts of reasons and for many different people.

Some trans people feel dysphoria as overwhelming or all-encompassing, while others don’t have any dysphoria at all. Many find this changes over the course of life or throughout gender affirmation. Whatever you feel and wherever you feel it, you are valid and valuable.

Diagnosis vs description

It can be confusing but there is a difference between the diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria and the feeling of gender dysphoria experienced by some trans people. The diagnosis is one in a long history of ways clinicians and researchers have interacted with trans people, which you can read more about at our Gender Diagnoses page.

The feeling of gender dysphoria, what this page focusses on, could be considered through the lens of being a social condition rather than a medical issue. A condition that is exacerbated by misgendering, by barriers to affirming care, and by having assumptions made about you by others, to name a few.

No matter our relationship with our gender, all trans people deserve the medical affirmation we seek.

Gender dysphoria can feel different for everyone. It can manifest as distress, depression, anxiety, restlessness or unhappiness. It might feel like anger or sadness, or feeling slighted or negative about your body, or like there are parts of you missing.

We chatted with trans people in NSW and asked them what dysphoria felt like for them, these were some of their answers:

How it feels and when it happens can be different from one person to the next.

“There are different things that might trigger your dysphoria, such as seeing a photograph of yourself, looking at yourself in the mirror, looking at yourself naked, being intimate with someone, feeling that your voice is too feminine or too masculine, being misgendered, being perceived as your assigned gender, being dead named, conversations about bodies/genitals/intimacy, certain clothing, being forced into a certain role, and so on and so on. There are different triggers for everyone and sometimes dysphoria happens without you even expecting it.

Trans Teen Survival Guide, Owl and Fox Fisher

While dysphoria is an experience many trans people have, the important part is working on ways to feel more comfortable over time. Lots of trans people can attest to dysphoria going away completely once we affirm who we are in the ways that work best for us.

Am I still trans if I don’t get dysphoria?

The short answer: yes! While many trans people experience dysphoria, not all trans people do.

That said, sometimes doctors or other health professionals still believe that dysphoria is required to be trans, which is a form of gatekeeping. The trans community talks about this a lot, all over the world. Local communities tend to develop strategies so that the care we require is more accessible. We might identify and share information about affirming doctors, distribute guidelines and support people who are being forced to jump through lots of hoops just to access basic and medically-necessary care. Connecting with peers can be really powerful, particularly if you’re having a tough time finding a doctor.

It is important to make the best and most informed decisions you can about your healthcare. You can find out more on our finding a doctor page to assist you to find a doctor who will work with, and affirm you.

Feeling dysphoric can be overwhelming or all-encompassing. Starting with small, or big, steps can make a huge difference though, such as:

Affirming your gender

Some trans people find that affirming their gender can help ease dysphoria, whether medically with hormones and/or surgery, or socially, doing things like changing your name, finding clothes you feel fabulous in, getting a haircut or painting your nails, and being out to trusted people.

This doesn’t have to be publicly either, affirming your gender might just be at home, or in front of a few trusted friends or family. If it helps you feel supported, there’s no wrong way to be out.

Focus on something else

Sometimes when it all feels too much, getting distracted with something else can be really helpful. What you do to distract yourself will depend on what you like doing.

It might be some craft or handiwork, writing or playing music, playing a non gender-segregated sport with some friends, or going out into nature. Whatever feels good and helps you think about something else for a while, and even if it doesn’t take the dysphoria away, it’s nice to have a break from it for a little while.

Expressing your sexuality

For some people, sexual and/or romantic connection with others can be a powerful dysphoria liberator. It’s important to listen to yourself though to ensure this feel affirming, consensual and healthy. Feeling loved, touched and cared for by someone you trust is a great way to tell dysphoria to get right back where it came from.

Find community

While finding your community can take a little longer than some of the other ideas here, being around people that you feel supported and loved by can make a huge difference, especially if they’re other trans people.

Having peers who know what you’ve been through, because they’ve been through it themselves, can be really validating, whether you’re talking about your feelings, going to a community event like a rally or meet up, or just hanging out and playing video games together.

Gender euphoria is the experience of feeling great about you, your body, and your gender.

It was coined to express a positive and exciting feeling of one’s gendered self, which is a concept that is sometimes not talked about as much as our negative experiences.

Gender euphoria challenges the idea that trans people only ever experience gender dysphoria, and that the story of being trans is one rooted in misery.

Fury writes that gender euphoria is “the feeling of comfort, certainty, joy, or excitement about your body or your identity.”

Gender euphoria may manifest in response to being gendered correctly, after having a gender affirming surgery or buying some clothing you love. It may also be more general, like moments in your day-to-day life of feeling happy, excited, loved, exuberant, or lucky to be in the body you’re in, whatever it looks like, enjoy it!

We won’t all feel gender euphoria all the time, but it’s a great feeling to aim for, and to know is out there and possible. We deserve to feel great.